Or something like that.
The reality is that, unless you're living in the US and are lucky enough to win one of their $400 million powerball jackpots, you're probably not going to be able to retire off your winnings.
Because, let's face it, $1 million just doesn't stretch that far these days.
But believe me when I tell you my husband and I have spent plenty of time daydreaming about what we'd do if we ever hit the big time -- as in, the $400 million big time.
Friday's Top Five - Things I Would Do If I Won the Lottery:
5. Share the Wealth
Yes, everyone of us could all use a helping hand in the form of extra cash...... but you always hear those stories about how winning the lottery ruined people's lives and relationships and, frankly, who wants that?
Which is why I think this would be the part I'd struggle with the most -- not because I don't want to help others, but because I don't want long-lost friends and relatives coming out of the wood works and expecting a handout..... only to then have them blow the money on something ridiculous that they don't even need. (ie, booze, drugs, VLTs, late night parties, and Hummers)
Having said that, of course we would still donate to more charities and help out the people we're close to, but obviously we'd have to be careful about how we went about doing this.
4. Self Improvements
I already colour my hair, wax my eye brows, and go for the occasional spray tan, so why not up the ante and treat myself to a little something extra, am I right?
In a perfect world we'd all be shaped like Barbies and have a metabolism that would allow us to consume ~3500 calories a day.... but, of course, that's just not my reality.
So, I would start by calling up Oprah and asking her advice on what to look for in a personal chef and personal trainer.
Once those lifestyle changes are taken care of, I would then look to some artificial enhancements. Or reductions, to be more precise.
I have a fear of going under anesthetic and also of suffering the possible dangerous side effects of cosmetic surgery, but, let's be honest here. If I had enough money to pay for all sorts of procedures, I would at least pick up a brochure and seek an initial consult to see what they're all about.
(That doesn't mean I'd be brave enough to go through with any major procedure, but I would at least consider it anyway.)
This is my fantasy, yo. Don't you judge me!
I find it to be so stressful to always have to plan our vacations, book time off work, ensure our documents are in order, then pack all our belongings into suitcases that weigh a ton........ only to be delayed at customs and then crowded into economy seating and forced to endure all the usual travel-related nightmares that go along with this.
But, if we were rich, I have a feeling that a lot of this stress would be alleviated. Plus, we'd have our own jet, yo!
And why just own a house in one place when you can have a house in 17 different locations??
Now, by house, I'm not talking about having a mansion in every corner of the earth. I literally just mean a regular house. Something with a couple of bedrooms and a decent kitchen so that we could escape to wherever our hearts desire and not have to worry about finding a hotel or a family member to mooch off of.
I'm thinking we definitely need a home in upstate New York, so that we'd no longer have to stay with my husband's family each time we visit.
Then we'd also need a place in Florida near all the cruise ship ports because, I mean, really. Who wouldn't want the convenience of having a Florida home near the ports?
I also want a place in Arizona so that I could escape our miserable winters in the middle of February.
And something on the Okanagan is also a must, along with a boat and a view of the vineyards.
Then there's the mountains - I would love a cozy hideaway in the Rockies near Jasper or Banff.
Plus we'd need a cabin not far from home -- maybe along the shores of Wizard Lake.
And naturally we'll want to see the sites of Europe on occasion, so a small Italian villa would probably suit us just fine.
Oh, crap, I forgot about Australia. And Africa. And South America........ okay, maybe we do need a place in every corner of the earth. But, again, just a house... not a mansion! (Who wants to try keeping a mansion clean, anyway?)
I feel as though I've been to a lot of places already, but the reality is that I really haven't. There's so much of the world that I haven't seen and am curious about. (And what a gift to give my daughter, too.....)
Don't worry, we'll make her have a paper route in all of the 17 neighbourhoods we'd like to live.
Even though we'd have homes around the world and would be able to travel on a whim, we'd still just live in the house we have now. But we'd improve upon it.
I want a kitchen that would allow more than just two people to stand in it at one time.
And I want more storage space (and a freezer!) so that I could stock up on food items and basic toiletries without worrying about running out or having to grocery shop every few days.
And a couple of walk-in closets would be nice so that I'd no longer have to jam my clothing into overstuffed dresser drawers.
Plus a jacuzzi off the main bedroom would be a nice place to retreat after a long day. (Wait, I'm rich.... what is this "long day" you speak of?)
We'd also need a couple of extra bedrooms and maybe someone to clean the floors more regularly (my least favourite of all household chores).
As for the outdoors, I want to move the house forward a little so that we'd have less space in the front and more in the back........ you know, so we could build an in-ground swimming pool, complete with a pool boy to do all the maintenance and also mow our lawn/shovel the snow.
And, as has been our dream for many, many years, we would require a wrap-around porch on our home. Complete with a screen to keep out the mosquitos.
(Yes, we really have put a little too much thought into this.....)
1. Do Whatever the Heck I Want
It's true -- if I won the lottery, the thing I would look forward to the most is being able to have a flexible schedule to just do whatever I wanted.
Even though I'm one of those people who thrives on structure, I admit I'm burnt out and need a break from the daily grind. (Who doesn't, right?)
I'm so tired of the routine of each day -- whether it be a work day or a weekend -- as it seems we always have something scheduled that needs to be done.
And during those rare moments when I'm relatively caught up and have some quiet time, I often feel anxious and as though I need to take advantage of that time and do something -- you know, organize our photo albums, alphabetize our CD collection, wash all the curtains in the house, or just do something else equally neurotic.
And I can't even tell you how many mornings I've woken up when it's been so beautiful out that I hated the fact I had to spend it at work instead of just going for a walk or something.
What a way to waste the day -- you know, being stuck at work and then feeling too tired afterwards to enjoy the evening.
But if I was a bazillionaire, then I'd never be faced with that outlook again. And having that sort of freedom to do anything would be glorious.
That's my list for this week. As per usual, check out my friends' blogs for their take on the same subjects: Divulge with Dani, The Brooding Woman, and A Piece of Apple.